shit wrapup day before annas birthday

I think i covered the majority of making this into a blog. I mean in terms of having all the notes on atleast what led up to this reality for me. I don't know what to do until i get fcp. I dont want to admit that i live here and will just pretend that i dont. This is somewhat more than a bitching session its to explain my life. The link above should do it if the audience reads and i think it will cover the subject matter. Yeah there probably are ghosts but not the way this is going. Everything has to be documented i'd say i'm feeling human around now. My medication helps me to alleviate all my symptoms to take me off it would double my sickness. If i could just show you how i feel you would never do that but i bit my hand one time. Look im just getting to the ghost level on this show and still think its best to call my life a show for the amount of times i did that. For all i know i'll never see anna again but tomorrow is her birthday 30. During it's 5 i got bitched at by erica but you wouldnt scold me if you had adhd like me. I thought making artwork off it i was being olympic for how slow my thoughts move off adderall but i made that a show. I thought it was like speak out loud circus those years. I thought the biggest movie producer ever was involved in the smallest concept ever and really gave it my all. Made art day and night to up my art value for femminsts for free expression, left the art on the floor of new york restuaraunts for BLOOMBERGs office to pick up. All of this made sense for an Hbo show i'll say it's not t.v. it's Hbo no matter what for the rest of my life i think one day it will get me a job. In my original life plan i had hit preppy movies planned based off Josh Lindwall stories now on 5 i think i should probably get an industry job. I know tv show ghosts of your career! How fucked my economy is but i'd rather my placement in life doesn't end film wise with student loan collectors. If you ever see me just give me a pill of adderall and i will be your best friend. You have to check all the art to get this blog. Like if you click ontop little nemo on hbo on google should get you my novels and music videos and all the shit i've placed into Everlasting Kiss. Please fuck reuben make me into a movie. I wanna go back to work im up for working on your film sets even for free. My body needs a new doctor so let me wrap up explaining all the artwork i've made throughout the years i think i justified thesis year. You can check some of that Season 1 artwork from clicking on the Occupy tents. You know i live in a place where fucking if you ever designed a photo shoot wall you're ill. I need to get to next place to live. I made a character out of all this but it's not the same as the art i need to make before i will ever approach those i love. Too long without Nisha makes me ill, i miss Pascal and i really don't want Josh to see the current result i dont like to tell him sad things but im sure he saw my teeth on the net, an artistic risk making that art a risk that destroys my social and lost alot of facebooks but definitely leaves evidence in footage that's so painful for me to look at, but so key to my story. And i really think now for the first time in a long time i have a blog that explains who you're looking at on instagram slash why he's not cute now. That's really key to explain what happened from Neon bible artwork to The suburbs. Keu that i do this while i have like one reader. By the time iblow this up it cannot be fucked up. Altgough somehow i think it might have to be thr kind of thing that growsvon it's own. It's just i'm not that ready for this ghost level. I'm not ready to face what i'm saying to the world but if i don't say it now later is worthless. Nobody will care where or why i sent my film life away to reenact when Gunnar Agerholm did shelters or care how i scared my soul by not being by his bed when he died. His kids won't get that i miss them ans can't find Mark Agerholm in Pa yet and am disturbed by not knowing where James is. Guys if you read this know i love you and miss you and will reach out as soon as i'm not pathetic. This place i live is shit. There's no point to writing about shit somedays or maybe i'm preparing incase i run out of my medication. I don't know how to put a thing about anna's birthday on the net like im gonna txt her and thats it im not deserving to speak with her yet. I should have cash to talk with her. I should be more in life. See i used to live in a world where i had cameos and a Bicycle Thief like italian neo-realism by weinstein set. Even that thesis year reueben i thought i was performing for bloomberg/weinstein. I don't understand reueben why nobody on the set said shit that year. It was all quiet but i said i was on a bloomberg/weinstein show. Its still a good idea for a t.v. show maybe too good so it will never be. But there's blogs after season 1 where im writing about chats i had with Paris hilton and all this shit and that im doing title cards andy warhol campbell soup style on newspapers while she fucks people i knew i even lost a dead kid's name in there, that's right good ol' 2006 dead John Blaney came back from the dead. Reuben it's ridiculous and i locked myself out of these blogs so they could never be changed. People used to watch me do all this in Williamsburg, brooklyn. And it's a season 2 oremise but it made sense when i'm cute and in a hoodie. Paris hilton / harvey weinstein " roduction is what i thought was going on i really thought my 30s would be rewarded by Weinstein for drawing 24/7 and trying to beat the ridleys of somebody worth money doing this. Seriously im getting nervous on this anna happy birthday txt. Please god move me into an apartment soon, if you knew and saw the shit i see you'd wanna die. Holy shit little novel called shit i wrote today reuben. Little nemo on Hbo hopefully explained my hero reuben who saved my life that thesis year. Real bad is the ills to not tell anna is my hint let alone to have gone off my medication. So if you ever quit smoking there will always be something missing and no i think ill go back to it eventually. You know that cigarette after you write something. That's the one i'm missing right now. So now you know what my thevisualaxis blog is. It ends where i go out to make artwork finally after refusing that year feeling affected by thr show for Bloomberg and i then go to drop it off at the mayor's office but sadly the show he choses to continue onto a Season:2. In later times the show evolves to making artwork in the name of femminists for free expression,Norml and international gay and lesbian rights comission which is supposedvto get a million dollars each time i make a newspaper of title cards. That blog and past blogs that connect the story are on this forecastmazy account but there are others you can find by searching a harvey weinstein production or svanemo Little nemo on hbo searched on google should cover it all hence my link on the occupy tents