I occupy wallstreet

it hurts to stay still but I plug in my phone charger again to type. Despite amnesia just one more entry to explain the level 10 pain to explain my missing screenplays to explain why there's so little when you search christopher mastronardi on lulu.com One more attempt like being Mike at the best buy and transmographying the character. Me-I smell that clothes dry smell and know it could be meanie heart and i still refuse to acknowledge that I've ever heard a voice. It's creative ideas. Ghosts. Shit interference on a government radio. If I could steal a camera from bhphoto i would. Me-I don't steal. Never did before this schizophrenia little nemo on hbo world. I tell myself i'm going to work at buffalo exchange but even that is lower than i should go in economy. I think i'd like to work at empire records anyway. If i ignore all this shit it goes away. Be a man and just go back to work. The symptoms will go away. Something distracts me on shelter t.v., somebody speaks again for some reason. the living dead the people of the shelter. I feel ill today, the air conditioning is on at night to clear the smell of feet. People who don't shower live here. I lost my previous Brc apartment because of my Girls season 3 photo shoot. It's on facebook.com/chrismastronardi.5 The phone charger breaks again. Money from the state. My only other means of cash is i could panhandle, in 2011 i made a couple thousand thought i was on a harvey weinstein produced show and was only bothered by the cops twice. Still i'm afraid of the police, they've stopped me for asking for a card swipe with an undercover cop. Shit that isn't even a logical crime. I'm so poor i can't pay for a metrocard. Loan people call and there's really no way to get a job until i have a doctor fix me. I pray to arun gupta sometimes. Now i need a new charger. Phone all sorts of fucked. I can't believe i just said some shit like that. I can't believe i left my phone with the employees to charge I swear there's a man who breaks my charger there. I can't help but hear Godspeed you! Black Emperor play in the background. Amnesia washes my eye again as I remember how long it's been since i've been at a show. The shaky feeling around people kills relationship. I miss my 2006 friends who became my art. They were my favorite people i've met. It gets better with trainning, the staying still thing. It gets less painful or maybe my world is used to the pain, but that's not true on certain symptoms it is. Like seeing a glowing hand every so often and amnesia, or avoiding talking to people that matter. That i've come to get used to. The conditionsMe- i can admit some of this. It's almost been a decade. The phone charger fucks up again. Going down in my blog will explain the rest of my story. My older blogs log my journey through believing the Republican party was holding me hostage as a School of Visual Arts art school student captured. If you go back far enough you'll finf the days i'm a Democrat. The automatic psych doesn't like me at the shelter and I prefer a private psychiatrist. I never braved before this admitting more than AdHd. But it's almost been ten years since anna's been gone. And i still can't really face i did that. Adderall feeling of focus fades to amnesia. I have to put everything in the same place to not lose it. Me-there was never voices we did not lose a decade of our life. You can go to livejournal.com/~forecastmazy Forecastmazy.diaryland.com Is another one where you can see before. There used to be my Apple to keep me warm at night. Now there's just the android that the people who work here keep breaking the charger of. The emotion of the blog is gone, so is all emotion. But I am a writer and a writer/director/editor and i will make it back to final cuy pro. I know shit about editing but will learn this because this is my soul despite this God cursing disease. Our home in Fairfield,C.t. has been gone since 2013 and Gunnar died in 2009 when we were in Brooklyn. It gets to be too much the things around me. There's a symptom in my dick some tickle Me-I admit all this on the net so life matters so something we write matters but I stilk can't admit it to myself. I have been outcasted from The School of Visual Arts via this disease. Sometimes the voices pretend to be relatives but in the end they're symptoms. I have to nap after I do anything and it's because of needing more powerful medication. There is nothing wrong with me it is the past i didn't lose two psychs who wrote the same script for 1 month and the Brc fucked me. I've documented all these symptoms under the title that i'm 'Republican' in my prior blogs which you can see by clicking on Zuccatti Park