#DownWithDisease

Me-I can barely function daily. Soon i'll visit a psych and if this goes well i'll have a new doctor and maybe be fixed. I can't remember anything-it's a condition of my diseasw like not in a cute way but in a Momento way. I've been embaressed of all this for years or rather telling anyone. Prior blogs log the relationship i had with reality. I'd talk to people, and then continue onward on silver tiles where I talk out loud all day. And i'd blog the whole thing. Ashley olsens almost marriage to john blaney. Blogged and logged. Mary kate olsen's chat with me after graduation and the start of Season:2 blogged. Logged. Me-there's moments i will never get back. Moments when dick lindwall was alive moments i thought i was making 24/7 artwork and thought my eyes and art were logged by Hbo. Years that my loyalty to The Weinstein Company took even though he doesn't know me-but atleast there's the blogs. I hid this condition and it worked as long as i had teeth. Me-I feel like maybe this is a cursed entry.i feel a seizure coming on. Or whatever you call it. I just can't live without admitting this. It kills me on the days my adderall is low and i can barely read. I thought i'd go on with my life ignoring this. But the conditions are pretty hard to ignore. The meanie heart thing starts, i feel that awful rape feeling in my crotch, and i hear the tweet sound, soon i will have to write on a newspaper. It gets hot, since one doc didn't call them seizures you can call-it-my-body-convulges-and-i-bite-my-hand. Me-I logged it all of this. But this doesn't matter i still have to do it and only a doctor can fix it. In meanie heart mode i talk about a future job in porn. And call myself the meanie heart in the future when i get mg teeth. In this mode i want to find the mentally ill and tom green them in the future. I don't think of myself as the mentally ill i think of myself as an entity trying to return to the film industry.