323 birthday #

good so i hit a birthday post number, that should be good luck. General feeling of down, i think this depresses my audience. i don't have a lot to say these days, I sort of leave this blog as a love note to myself in the future. Boring down process I'm going through that's not worth talking about and the latest episode of "Awkward" isn't on box yet. Much love that show. Still combatting with the mind collapsing situation of having bad teeth, you know when you have to pause your blog you'll know that your in a situation that's not worth describing. I should be at parties and shit we should be fixing our life. We should be meeting new people and replacing those who cannot be replaced. i miss the people that we knew and i miss the most our adopted family. i'm writing to myself at this point always figured i'd become a person who writes to themselves and has others read their diary before blogs were made i thought this. It's a dark era is what i'll say in our blog lifeline and the housing lottery in ny for free housing is so long and not worth talking about that i'll just leave at silence over getting into this compared to what we could be reading. I need a shower me, and a shower to make all shitty things go away. This process is far too long and sometimes expression comes out in sound affects. I'm sure a big day is coming but nothing feels anyway it's all empty. Anxiety appears as an emotion of an emoji that references the arcade fire's early neon bible album. My eye is trapped on pause.